There's been chatter about the awful comments that people make to mainstream-media poly articles, and some are saying "never read the comments." I disagree, for reasons I'll get to, but first here's a heartening counterexample.
is a big new news site for Latinos whose primary language is English. (It did a fine article
on safer sex among polys last month.) A few days ago a book reviewer there wrote about a novel that has a doomed attempt at an open love triangle; her review bore the dreadful title "Polyamory, the kind of love that always hurts." Links to the article popped up here and there.
Our side jumped into the breach. I was proud to put up the first comment while riding the train home from the Poly Living conference. More of us piled in, and we've swamped the place. The book reviewer has come in too, backpedaling and thanking us for our thoughts and saying she was only discussing someone else's book (which she wasn't really, but never mind). I don't think she'll make these mistakes again.
See Polyamory, the kind of love that always hurts
(Feb. 9, 2014), with the comments at the end.
This shows what we can do. And not for the first time. The way to win the comment wars, or at least to place respectably, is to step in, say your piece politely and intelligently, and leave. It will stand out from the crap and impress the undecided.
In addition, if you fail to look at what the other side is actually saying, you will become ignorant about them. Politics is full of this, and the side that does it the most ends up looking stupidest.
So don't be scared to witness people saying we're ugly and fat or too rich and thin
; dumb losers or privileged winners, STI breeders or prudes about always using condoms, sex sluts or "all talk and no action," old hippies or naive millennials. Say your piece politely and thoughtfully, and leave.
Having a thin skin on the internet is so
Oh, and don't wait for me to post things here. Catch news faster through Google Alerts
, using the search-query terms polyamory, polyamorous, etc. You can limit your alerts to "news," or include other types of sources to be monitored.
And another thing: If it's a print newspaper or magazine, once you've posted your comment, copy and paste it to the Letters to the Editor. A printed letter still gets hundreds of times more readers than an online comment. If looking up the letters address is too much trouble, just mail it to letters@[domain
].com and it's almost sure to get there.
You'll probably have to include your real name and a way for them to contact you for verification, but they will honor a request for a letter to be printed anonymously.